It Had to Be You and All Our Tomorrows Page 4

Instead of responding directly to his comment, she shrugged, and when she spoke, her tone was straightforward. “Life goes on, though. We all learn to cope.”

  He wanted to ask if life had been good to her, if she’d found the happiness she deserved, if she’d had much trouble raising the twins...if her heart belonged to another man. She wore no ring. He’d noticed that right away. But you didn’t ask someone personal questions after twelve years. Not when you’d long ago forfeited the right. He had to settle for a less probing query. “So you’ve managed all right, then, Maggie?”

  Maggie looked into his eyes—warm and compelling and intense—and remembered with a bittersweet pang how easily she used to get lost in his dark gaze. How, with a simple look, he could make her heart soar. His eyes were still expressive, still powerful, she realized. But she wasn’t susceptible to their magnetism anymore, she told herself resolutely. A lot of things had changed. She’d changed. And this man, once the center of her world, was really nothing more than a stranger to her now.

  She tucked the tray under her arm and forced herself to smile. “Well, as you can see, I have a business. The girls are well. We’ve done fine. I hope your career has been as satisfying as mine.”

  “The navy has given me a good life,” he acknowledged. “I have no regrets about that choice, anyway.”

  But he had regrets about other choices? Better not to ask, though, she decided quickly.

  “Well, I have things to attend to, Jake,” she said brightly. “I hope your stay with us has been pleasant—”

  The words died in her throat as he reached out and touched her arm.

  “I know this situation is somewhat...awkward...but I can’t help thinking our paths crossed again for some reason.” He paused, searching for a convincing way to phrase his request. Finally he drew a deep breath, his eyes reflecting the intensity of his feelings. “I don’t want to walk away without at least talking to you,” he told her honestly, his gaze steady and direct. “Will you give me half an hour or so? For old times’ sake, if nothing else?”

  Maggie tried to ignore the entreaty in his eyes as she considered his request. But it was hard to think rationally when the warmth of his hand was seeping through the sleeve of her blouse. She really didn’t want to talk to him. What good would it possibly accomplish after all these years? It seemed far...safer...to leave the past where it belonged—in the past.

  But she had to admit that, like him, she was thrown by the odd coincidence that had brought them together. A coincidence so odd that it seemed somehow more than coincidence. She recalled how she’d prayed for just such a “coincidence” more often than she cared to admit in the early years, when she was struggling to earn a living and cope with the challenges of single parenthood. There were so many times when a simple touch, a warm, caring hand holding hers, would have lightened her burden immeasurably. But the Lord hadn’t answered those prayers. Not in the way she’d hoped for, at least. Instead, He had helped her find hidden reserves of strength, spirit and determination that had seen her through the rough times. In the end, she’d made it on her own, and in so doing, discovered that she was a capable and competent woman who didn’t need to rely on a man to survive. The experience had bolstered her self-esteem, and she had learned to make choices and plans decisively and with confidence.

  So why had the Lord sent Jake now, long after she’d stopped asking? Why disrupt her world now, when she had not only resigned herself to a solitary life, but made her peace with it? Maggie didn’t have a clue. But there must be a reason for this unexpected meeting, and maybe she should at least try to find out what it was.

  “Please, Maggie,” Jake persisted. “It would mean a lot to me.”

  She drew a deep breath and nodded. “All right, Jake. The girls can finish up the breakfast.”

  His answering smile was warm and grateful—and relieved. “Thank you.” He glanced at his watch. “I need to make a quick call. Then we can talk.”

  “There’s a phone in the drawing room. Next to the fireplace.”

  He nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

  Maggie watched him leave, then sank down into the closest chair. Her seat afforded her a discreet view of the drawing room. He was turned slightly away from her as he used the phone, and she took advantage of the opportunity to observe him.

  He’d changed, she noted thoughtfully. He’d filled out, the lanky frame she remembered maturing into a trim, well-toned body. The style of his dark brown hair was familiar, though shorter than it used to be. And a faint brush of silver at both temples gave him a distinguished air. The few lines on his face, which hadn’t been there when they parted, spoke more of character than of age. Maggie had to admit that he was even more handsome now than he had been twelve years before.

  But there was something else different about him, something beyond the physical that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, she realized with a frown. He radiated a quiet confidence, a decisiveness, a sense of determination and purpose. It was reflected in his body language, in the very way he moved, she thought, as he hung up the phone and made a few quick notes on the pad beside it. The Jake she had known was eager, restless and searching. This Jake was polished, self-assured and at peace with his place in the world.

  And yet...there was a certain indefinable sadness in his eyes, a world-weariness, that tugged at her heart. It was almost as if he’d searched the world for something but had come up empty, and ultimately had resigned himself to that fact.

  Maggie had no idea where that insight came from, or even if it was accurate. Nor did she have a clue what it meant. Still, she knew instinctively there was a void of some sort in Jake’s life that troubled his soul.

  But the state of Jake’s soul was not her concern, she reminded herself sternly as he walked toward her. Her energies would be better focused on conducting a civil, rational conversation.

  Jake smiled as he sat down across from her. “Well, that buys me an hour.”

  “You have an appointment?”

  “Mmm-hmm. But I wish I didn’t.”

  His comment, as well as the familiar tone in his voice, startled Maggie. She didn’t know how to respond, so she remained silent, uncomfortably aware that he was studying her.

  “The years have been good to you, Maggie,” he said finally. “You look great.”

  This wasn’t at all the polite, impersonal conversation she’d expected, and the warm, husky note in his voice rattled her. “Th-thanks. So do you,” she replied, berating herself for letting him fluster her.

  “So tell me about this place.” He made an all-encompassing gesture. “Have you been doing this long?”

  That was more like it, she thought with relief. Questions like that she could handle. “Eight years. I moved to Boston about a year after...” She started to say, “after you left,” but changed her mind. The less she talked about them, the better. “...after I got the twins,” she continued. “I worked in a graphic design firm there for three years. By then Abby was finished with all her operations and therapy, so there was less need to stay in a big city. And I thought it would be better for the girls to grow up in a small town. We’d visited Maine on vacation once and loved it, so we came up and looked around one summer. This place happened to be on the market at a good price. It had been vacant for a while, and even though it was structurally sound, it needed lots of cosmetic help and some updating. Before I knew it, I was the proud owner of a B&B. I did freelance design work for a while to tide us over until we established a clientele, and I still sell some of my watercolors to a greeting card company.”

  She paused and took a deep breath. “The early years here were a little rough, and it took a lot more hard work than I expected to get established, but I’ve never regretted the move,” she finished.

  Jake eyed her speculatively, making no attempt to conceal his admiration. “I’m impressed, Maggie. It too
k a lot of courage to make such a radical life-style change. Not many people would have risked it.”

  She shrugged dismissively, but was oddly pleased by the compliment. “I did a lot of research before I made the move. This is a popular area, and the B&Bs do well. I drew up a pretty solid business plan, so it wasn’t too difficult to get a loan for the necessary improvements. And I found ways to keep the capital expenditures reasonably low.”

  Jake stared at the woman across from him, struggling to reconcile the Maggie he knew with this savvy businesswoman. His Maggie would not have had a clue about business plans or capital expenditures. Apparently she’d changed even more than he suspected. But it wasn’t an unpleasant change, he realized, a faint smile touching his lips.

  Maggie noted the smile and eyed him cautiously. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. It’s just that the Maggie I remember had very little interest in business. I’m surprised, that’s all.”

  “The Maggie you knew didn’t need to be interested in business, Jake. This one does.”

  There was no hint of recrimination in her matter-of-fact tone, but the old, familiar guilt tugged at Jake’s conscience. If he’d honored his commitment to her, Maggie wouldn’t have had to struggle alone to build a life for herself and the twins. It couldn’t have been easy, though she’d downplayed the difficulty. Which only made him admire her more.

  “You seem to have done a good job,” he said quietly. “This place is obviously a success. And the twins seem like fine young women. Abby looks as if she’s recovered fully from the accident.”

  Maggie nodded. “She has. She needed two more operations after...after I took them in, and therapy after that for three years. But she’s fine now.” She glanced toward the kitchen, her eyes softening. “They’ve been a tremendous help to me through the years. I couldn’t have made this place a success without them. And they’ve brought a great deal of joy to my life.”

  Now was the perfect opening to ask the question that was most on his mind. He reached for his coffee and took a sip, trying to phrase it the right way. “Has it just been the three of you all these years, then?”

  Maggie turned and looked at him directly. “If you’re asking me whether I’m married, or have ever been married, the answer is no.”

  “Why not?” The indiscreet question came out before he could stop it, and he felt hot color steal up the back of his neck. He shook his head and held up his hands. “Listen, forget I asked that, okay? It was way out of line.”

  She toyed with the edge of a napkin, then gave a little shrug. “It’s all right. The simple fact is, you weren’t the only one who didn’t want to take on a ready-made family, Jake. Especially one with medical problems.”

  He flinched. She’d scored a direct hit with that comment, whether she intended to or not. “I guess I deserved that,” he admitted.

  She frowned. “I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that I eventually realized my situation was an awful lot for anyone to take on, especially in the early years. And as time went by, I simply lost interest in romance. I have a nice life. Why should I change it? But tell me about you,” she urged, adroitly shifting the focus before he could pursue the subject. “What are you doing here?”

  He took her lead readily, grateful she hadn’t taken offense at his rash question. “Actually, I’m interviewing this afternoon at the Maine Maritime Academy.”

  Her eyes widened in surprise. “For a job?”

  “Yes. To make a long story short, I’m leaving the navy and Dad is coming to live with me.”

  “What about your mom?”

  “She died five years ago, Maggie.”

  “Oh.” Her face looked suddenly stricken, and he reached across and laid his hand over hers. Maggie had always gotten along famously with his parents. They’d held a special place in her heart, especially after her own parents died.

  “It was a shock to all of us,” Jake continued gently. “She had a stroke about five years ago. She lived for about six months after that, and Dad took care of her at home. That’s where she wanted to be. Mom was a great believer in families taking care of their own. In fact, before she died, she made Rob and me promise that if Dad ever got to the point where he couldn’t live alone, one of us would take him in rather than relegate him to a retirement or nursing home.”

  “And he isn’t able to live alone now?”

  Jake shook his head regretfully. “No. He had a heart attack about eight months ago and went down to stay with Rob and his family in Atlanta while he recovered. Except that he never did recover very well. He’s gotten pretty frail and a little forgetful, and Rob and I finally realized that he couldn’t ever go home. Rob was perfectly happy to have Dad live with them—the kids love having their grandpa around—but three weeks ago he lost his job in a corporate downsizing, and Jenny—Rob’s wife—had to go back to work. What with three kids and lots of uncertainties, life has been pretty stressful for them. And they really can’t give Dad the attention he needs. So the younger son—namely me—was called in to pinch-hit. That’s why I’m here.”

  “You mean you’re giving up your navy career to take care of your dad?”

  Jake dismissed the implied sacrifice with a shrug. “I never intended to spend my life in the service. And even though it was a good life in many ways, I have to admit that I’m getting a little tired of being a nomad. The idea of settling down in one place is beginning to appeal to me. Rob may be having some career problems at the moment, but I’m starting to envy his life—the wife, the kids, the picket fence.”

  “So you’ve been...alone all these years?” she said tentatively.

  “I never married, either, Maggie,” he told her quietly.

  A strange feeling of lightness swept over her, but she ignored it and focused on a less volatile topic. “So how does your dad feel about this move?”

  Jake’s face grew troubled. “Not happy, I’m afraid. You know how independent Dad always was. He hasn’t taken kindly to having to rely on his kids to take care of him. Rob says it wasn’t too bad at first, when Dad thought he’d eventually be able to go home. But since we decided that’s not an option, he’s been pretty despondent. He knows we’re right, but that hasn’t made it any easier for him to accept. And it’s even worse now that he realizes he’ll be stuck with me instead of Rob, at least for a while.”

  Maggie eyed Jake assessingly. His last comment had been made lightly, but she suspected his tone masked deeper feelings. She knew his parents hadn’t been happy when he’d walked out on her. They’d apologized on his behalf more times than she could count. But surely, after all these years, his father didn’t still hold a grudge against his son on her behalf. There had to be more to their troubled relationship than that.

  “I take it you and your dad don’t get along that well,” she probed carefully.

  Jake gave a short, mirthless laugh. “You might say that. As I’m sure you know, Dad was very disappointed in me after I...after we broke up. And he didn’t hold back his feelings on the subject, either. So I made fewer trips home, which only seemed to fuel the fire. I did go home more often after Mom’s stroke, but not enough to suit Dad. He figured I’d abandoned them, too, I guess.”

  Maggie looked at him in surprise. Abandoned them, too? That was an incriminating word choice. Did it mean that he regretted his decision twelve years ago to break up with her? Had guilt followed him all these years as he roamed around the world? She’d never really considered that. She figured once he’d made his decision he’s simply gone on with his life, that eventually memories of her and their time together had faded. But his words implied otherwise.

  “Anyway, like it or not, we’re stuck with each other,” Jake continued. “And I’m determined to make the best of it. In fact, to be perfectly honest, I hope we can mend the rift between us. Dad and I used to be close, and...well, I’ve missed that all
these years.”

  Once again, Maggie was taken aback by Jake’s admission. He’d never been the kind of man who talked much about feelings. Maybe the willingness to do so had come with maturity, she speculated. Once you felt comfortable with your life and had proven your abilities, it was easier to admit other limitations without feeling threatened. Jake struck her as being a very secure man in most aspects of his life. Confident and in control. Yet he’d been unable to reestablish a good relationship with his father. And he wasn’t too proud to admit it.

  “Well, the opportunity will certainly be there now,” Maggie pointed out encouragingly. “I’m sure your dad will come around.”

  Jake shook his head skeptically. “I’m not so sure. But I have to try at least. Rob has his hands full, and we can’t go back on our promise to Mom. Besides, Rob’s done more than his share with Dad since Mom died. It’s only right I take my turn.”

  Maggie stared at Jake. The man was full of surprises. Through the years she’d gradually convinced herself that he was a self-centered, spoiled, irresponsible man who had probably grown even more so with age. But the decisions he’d made regarding his father, his acceptance of his duty, his willingness to honor the promise to his mother at the expense of his career, weren’t the actions of a selfish man. They spoke of integrity and principal and dependability. Maggie had to admit that his behavior was admirable. But it was a grudging admission, and certainly not one she cared to verbalize.

  “Excuse me, but there’s a call for you, Mr. West,” Abby interrupted, pausing beside the table, her gaze blatantly curious as it moved from Jake to Maggie. “A man named Dennis Richards.”

  Jake frowned. “He must not have been able to switch the time for the first interview after all. Will you wait, Maggie? I’ll be right back.”

  “Yes.”

  “You can take the call on the phone in the foyer, at the desk,” Abby told him.

  She watched Jake leave, then turned to Maggie, her eyes shining. “Were you really engaged to him once?” she asked incredulously.