Apprentice Father Read online

  Wishing there was an easy answer, Cate worded her response with care. “Some people aren’t very nice and they do bad things for no reason. Daddies are supposed to love their families and take care of them, not be mean. Your daddy made some bad mistakes. But you’re with your Uncle Clay now, and he loves you very much. I do, too. So now that you’re here, you don’t have to worry about people being mean to you. We would never let that happen.”

  Emily’s grip on Clay’s neck eased.

  “Did they eat breakfast?” Cate asked Clay in a quiet, conversational tone.

  He shook his head.

  “Do you have half an hour to spare?”

  “Whatever it takes.”

  “I have an idea,” Cate told the children. “Why don’t we make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast?”

  “I never heard of those.” Emily shifted her position to better see Cate without relinquishing her hold on Clay.

  “No one has. They’re my secret recipe. But I can’t make them by myself. It takes four people. One to mix, one to add in the chocolate chips, one to flip, and one to pour the chocolate syrup on top.”

  “Chocolate syrup, too? Wow!” Josh’s eyes lit up. “I’ll help!”

  “So will I,” Clay seconded.

  “Emily? Are you in?” Cate smiled at her.

  The little girl nodded.

  “Good. Let’s get started, then.”

  Half an hour later, as the children were lingering over the last bites of their unusual breakfast, Clay glanced toward the clock on the wall and raised an eyebrow at Cate. He’d disappeared once during breakfast to shave, put on his shirt and comb his hair, and she knew he was running way behind schedule.

  Rising unhurriedly, she took her plate to the sink. “I saw a mama duck with some baby ducks the other day as I drove past the park, and I bet they’re still there. While Uncle Clay’s at work today, how would you like to go feed them?”

  “Yes!” Josh said. “Can we go now?”

  “As soon as you get dressed.”

  He scrambled off his chair. “I can be ready in two minutes.”

  Smiling, Cate grabbed his pajama top as he dashed by. “Whoa. Say goodbye to your uncle first.”

  Josh planted a sloppy kiss on Clay’s cheek. “Bye. Come on, Emily!” He dashed down the hall.

  Sliding off her chair, Emily looked less enthusiastic.

  “How about a hug?” Clay held out his arms, and she moved toward him. “I’ll be back in time for supper, okay?”

  “Can’t you stay home today?”

  He shot Cate a quick glance. “I won’t be far away. I can come home if you need me, and Cate will be here all day, like always. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you call me from the park and tell me about the ducks? Would you do that?”

  “Okay, I guess.” Backing out of the circle of his arms, she traipsed down the hall.

  As Clay headed for the front door, Cate followed. They stepped onto the landing, and she left the door slightly ajar so she could listen for the children.

  Running his fingers through the hair he’d just combed, Clay let out a frustrated breath. “I wish I could stay home today.”

  “They’ll be okay. Don’t worry.”

  As he regarded her, his eyes softened. “They wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for you. I was way over my head when you walked in the door.”

  His praise warmed her heart. More than it should. “You would have been fine.”

  “I don’t think so. You did all the right things. Asked the right questions. When I think what that monster did to those two…” His face hardened.

  “It’s hard to believe a man could treat his own children that way.” Cate’s throat tightened, and she blinked away the sudden moisture that blurred her vision.

  “My dad was bad. But nothing like Martin.” Clay pulled his keys out of his pocket. “You’ll call me from the park?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Okay.” He gave her the semblance of a smile. “The chocolate chip pancakes were inspired, by the way. A very clever way to distract the kids.”

  “I’m glad it worked. I was making it up as I went along.”

  He shook his head. “That’s what I mean. I would never have thought of something like that.” Warmth flooded his deep brown eyes, and Cate’s pulse took a leap. “I’ve never been very good about saying thank-you, or expressing my feelings, but I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for us.”

  His husky, intimate tone blindsided her, and she had to force her uncooperative lungs to kick in. Standing inches away, the morning sun bronzing his skin, Clay oozed a potent masculinity that made her lightheaded. Unless she was way off base, he felt the powerful chemistry between them, too. Because what she saw in his eyes represented a far deeper emotion than the appreciation he’d verbalized.

  As if to confirm her conclusion, he lifted a hand toward her. She held her breath, every nerve in her body quivering. She knew she should step back. But she couldn’t move. With every fiber of her being, she wanted to feel the touch of his strong, work-toughened fingers against her cheek. Without conscious decision, she swayed toward him, inviting him to…

  “Cate!” The door was pulled open, and she jerked back as Josh scurried out. “I’m ready to go feed the ducks.”

  Reeling from the rush of emotion, Cate looked toward the little boy. He was dressed—sort of—in jeans, an unbuttoned shirt and mismatched shoes without socks. Any other time, she’d have gotten a chuckle out of his slapdash attire. At the moment, though, it was all she could do to get her tongue to work.

  “I’ll be right in, Josh. Why don’t you go put some socks on?”

  He checked out his feet. “Oh. I guess I forgot.”

  Whirling around, he dashed back inside.

  When Cate managed to summon up enough courage to face Clay again, she discovered he’d moved to the railing and shoved his palms flat in the back pockets of his jeans.

  He swallowed, and she watched his Adam’s apple bob. “I better go.”

  All she could manage was a nod.

  He left in silence.

  Thirty seconds later, she heard his car door slam. The engine started. She stepped back into the shadows and caught sight of his car as he backed out. The receding sound of the engine told her he’d gone.

  Leaving disappointment in his wake.

  But it was better this way, she told herself. Business and pleasure didn’t mix. Had Clay touched her, things between them would have changed. That wouldn’t have been good for any of them—Clay, her or the children.

  Yet hard as she tried to convince herself that Josh’s interruption had been a good thing, her heart wasn’t buying the argument.

  “Clay!”

  As his name rang out across the quiet morning air two days later, Clay stopped. Cate and her grandfather were coming down the church steps, and she waved.

  He returned the gesture, but stayed where he was. Since Emily’s meltdown, he’d been off balance around Cate. He still couldn’t believe how close he’d come to kissing her that day on the landing. With the gilded light of morning turning her hair into a shimmering halo and her deep green eyes misting with compassion, he’d been overwhelmed by a rush of unfamiliar, tender emotions.

  And he’d almost made a big mistake.

  Cate wasn’t the kind of woman a man kissed lightly. Clay knew that. With her gentle goodness and caring nature, she’d expect such an intimate gesture to signify more than a momentary attraction. And that’s all it had been, he told himself. Prompted by gratitude for her role in dealing with the morning crisis.

  But that didn’t help him keep said attraction in line as he watched her walk toward him, dressed in a simple sheath dress and matching jacket that flattered her figure and highlighted the slender curves of her five-foot-six frame.

  “Do you have a minute?” Cate greeted him with a smile.

  She seemed to have put the Friday morning incident behind her, he noted, struggling to do the same. “Su
re.” The word came out ragged, and he cleared his throat.

  “Have you two seen the ducks yet?” Pop directed his question to the children.

  “There are ducks at church? Like at the park?” Josh’s eyes widened.

  “Mmm hmm. In a little pond out back. How about we check it out?”

  “Okay,” Josh agreed promptly.

  Emily hesitated and looked up at Clay. “Is it all right?”

  “Yes. But don’t be gone too long.”

  “We’ll be back in a jiffy,” Pop promised. The older man reached for their hands, and the children slipped their fingers into his without a qualm.

  Clay shoved his hands into his pockets as he watched them. “Must run in the family.”

  “What?” Cate gave him a quizzical look.

  “The ability to get along with children. They’ve only met your grandfather what…twice?…and already they trust him. It’s taking me a lot longer.”

  “Pop’s had a lot of practice with children. I have, too. But you’re doing great. And the children are making good progress.”

  He gave a rueful shake of his head. “Based on what happened Friday, they have a long way to go.”

  “I have an idea that might speed up their healing process.”

  “I’m all for that.”

  “It occurred to me that some exposure to happy family life might be good for them. My mom always has everyone over for Easter brunch, and we wondered if you and the children would like to join us next Sunday.”

  Considering how adamant Cate had been about her ground rules when she’d accepted the job, he was taken aback. “I thought you wanted to keep your weekends to yourself.”

  “In general, I do.” A soft flush spread across her cheeks, and she tucked her hair behind her ear. “But Easter is a special day. Worthy of an exception. Besides, it would be good for the children.”

  He mulled over the invitation. Since he’d left home, Easter had never been more to him than another Sunday to sleep in. He’d go to church this year for the children’s sake, but he hadn’t planned to mark the day in any other way. Yet Cate’s suggestion reminded him he should make an effort to celebrate the holiday. Kids were supposed to get baskets of candy and colored eggs, weren’t they? And a special dinner? He could take care of the former. Cate was offering to provide the latter. And it would be good for the kids, as she’d noted.

  Besides, the notion of spending a day in her company appealed to him on a personal level as well.

  “That sounds very nice. Thank you. I’m sure the kids will enjoy it.”

  “Great.” A smile curved her graceful lips. “I can give you details next week and…”

  “Good morning, Cate.”

  An attractive blond man, accompanied by a dark-haired woman holding a baby, stopped beside them. Cate’s smile disappeared, and some unidentifiable emotion flashed across her face, come and gone with such speed Clay wondered if he’d imagined it.

  “Hello, Dan, Mary.” As she introduced them to Clay, he caught the hint of sadness deep in her eyes.

  The two men shook hands, and Clay inclined his head toward the woman, trying to get a handle on the odd vibes swirling around the small group.

  “I wondered if I could ask you a favor, Cate,” Dan said. “I have to go to St. Louis for a meeting Wednesday night, and I need someone to cover the youth group. I know you haven’t done it since…” he cleared his throat “…for a while, but you know the ropes and I could use your help.”

  “I’d be happy to.”

  “Thanks. I owe you.” The man flushed and ran a finger around the collar of his dress shirt.

  Pop rejoined them, giving the couple a curt nod. “Dan, Mary.”

  At the out-of-character coolness in Pop’s voice, Clay’s antennae rose another notch.

  As the couple said goodbye, Josh tugged on Clay’s hand. “Pop says he’ll take us fishing, if that’s okay with you. Can we go?”

  “I don’t see why not.” He transferred his attention from the young couple to Josh. “Maybe I’ll come, too. If I’m invited.”

  “’Course you’re invited,” Pop said. “We’ll take a picnic. Cate could join us, too.”

  “Would you, Cate?”

  At Emily’s question, Cate blinked and gave the little girl a blank look. “I’m sorry, honey. What did you say?”

  “Pop said he’ll take us fishing. And Uncle Clay is coming. It’s going to be a picnic. Can you come, too?”

  “Sure.” Cate gave her a smile, but it seemed forced. “That sounds like fun. As soon as the weather warms up a little, we’ll go out to the lake. And in the meantime, we have a surprise for you.”

  That was his cue to tell the children about Easter, Clay realized. He knelt on one knee beside them. “How would you guys like to have Easter dinner with Cate and her family?”

  “Does Cate have a family?” Josh scrunched up his face, as he grappled with that concept.

  “Of course. She has a grandpa—Pop—and a mommy and a daddy and…” He searched his memory, trying to recall what she’d told him about her family…“And two brothers and a sister-in-law.” He glanced at her for confirmation, and she nodded.

  “What’s a sister-in-law?” Emily wanted to know.

  “That’s a lady who’s married to one of Cate’s brothers.”

  Josh scuffed the toe of his shoe, his eyes downcast, his tone subdued. “That’s a lot of people. And we don’t know them.”

  “You will after Easter.”

  After a moment, Josh tipped his head back and spoke to Cate. “Is your daddy nice?”

  She dropped down to their level. Clay took her arm in a steadying grip and tried to ignore the appealing warmth of her skin radiating through the fabric of her thin jacket. “He’s very nice, Josh. He likes little boys and girls. Just like Pop. Pop is my mommy’s daddy.”

  Josh digested that, inspecting Pop. “You’re a daddy, too?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Well…I guess it would be okay.”

  “What do you think?” Clay gave Emily a chance to cast her vote.

  “Will you be there?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.”

  It was okay because he would be with them.

  As the significance of her statement sank in, Clay felt a new and unexpected joy spring to life within him. And when Cate smiled and touched his arm, acknowledging the moment as well, the joy in his heart spilled over.

  He could get used to this happy feeling, Clay realized. And though he’d spent a lifetime avoiding personal attachments, with their confining obligations and responsibilities, as he gazed at Josh and Emily and Cate he didn’t feel trapped at all.

  He just felt good.

  But scared.

  Even more scared than the time he’d lost his balance on a structural steel beam and almost plunged six floors to the ground.

  Since that near-accident, he always double-checked his safety harness before stepping into a danger zone.

  Unfortunately, he didn’t think there was any such protective equipment for the heart.

  Chapter Five

  “Would anyone like another piece of cake?”

  Though her question was directed to the group gathered around the Shepard table, Cate’s mother focused on the children. They’d each had two servings of Easter ham, devoured her au gratin potatoes and put a good dent in her green bean casserole. Clay had lost track of the number of homemade biscuits they’d eaten.

  Both Emily and Josh sent Clay a hopeful look.

  “I might take you up on your offer. But only if Josh and Emily do, too.” Clay winked at Cate’s mother and addressed the children. “Do you think you might be able to eat another piece?”

  “I can,” Josh declared with a vigorous nod.

  “Me, too,” Emily added.

  “I think you have three takers on this side of the table. The dinner was wonderful, Mrs. Shepard.”

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it. And please call me Ellen.”

/>   While Cate’s mother dished up multiple second servings of her home-baked split-lemon cake, Clay found his attention wandering to Cate. She was talking to her brother, teasing him about some childhood memory, and the animated sparkle in her eye reminded him, for a brief instant, of Anne in her carefree, lighthearted moments.

  But those brief interludes had been rare. Most of the time she’d chaffed under the rigid, joyless regime of their youth, sharing his desperation to flee from their father’s house. But she’d chosen a different escape route. Anne had wanted to create her own warm and loving family, perhaps to compensate for all she’d missed as a child. He, on the other hand, had wanted to stay as far away from family life as possible.

  Clay had always been confident he’d chosen the better path. But this past month with Josh and Emily—and Cate—had shaken his conviction.

  As if sensing his scrutiny, Cate looked toward him. The connection lasted no more than a fleeting instant, yet Clay had a feeling she saw far more than he’d intended to reveal.

  “Another wonderful dinner, honey.” Cate’s father smiled at his wife as he rose and began clearing the table. Her brothers followed suit.

  Noting Clay’s surprise, Ellen explained. “In the Shepard clan, the women have always been the cooks and the men take care of clean-up duty. It’s a good arrangement, don’t you think?”

  Yes, it was. But in his father’s house, his mother had done all the cooking and all the clean-up. Likewise in Anne’s home, from what she’d told him. He’d assumed all families operated that way.

  “Seems logical to me. Let me help.”

  “Guests are excluded from that rule.” She waved his offer aside as he started to rise. “Cate, why don’t you show Clay and the children the pond your dad built? The fish are getting active again.”

  “You have a lake with fish in your yard?” Josh sought confirmation from Cate.

  “Well, ‘lake’ is a pretty generous term. But it’s a nice little pond. And it does have fish. Let me grab a sweater.” Cate stood and headed for the hall.

  “Come on into the family room while we wait,” Ellen suggested.

  As Clay followed Cate’s mother to the back of the house, which was more casual and homey than the formal living room where they’d gathered earlier, he examined the photos lining the walls. They showed the Shepards celebrating birthdays, vacations, graduations—in other words, all the moments that wove the tapestry of a good family life. And there were pictures of each of the children, the kind most parents displayed. Such photos had been kept in a drawer in his father’s house, however. Putting them out for others to see would have been a sin of pride, the old man had told them.